Numb
by I-heart-kakashi
Summary: Hatake Kakashi has it all: a great job, a huge house and a beautiful wife who worships him. Everything is perfect until a confused young drug addict stumbles into his life. Things then start to get very complicated... Kaka/Sasu, YAOI! Dark themes, AU!
1. Chapter 1

**Numb: Chapter one**

**Disclaimer: **I wish I did, but I do not own Sasuke or Kakashi. I don't own Iruka or Kurenai either.

**Full Summary**: Hatake Kakashi has it all, a well-paid job, a beautiful wife who loves him more than anything, a huge house in the best part of town, an expensive car. Yes indeed… everything in his life is perfect. That is until a young, confused drug-addict stumbles in head first and shatters everything. However, sometimes a person needs someone to help them leave the past behind and rediscover a new future that should've been all along. But will it be too late for Kakashi to save this boy?

**Author's notes:** I'm back with some more Kaka/Sasu goodness! I just can't stay away from this pairing; I love it far too much! It's like an addiction! So, you can expect the usual multi-chapter fic from me, full of drama, angst and man-sex. I hope you guys like it! :)

Oh and Sasuke won't be so young in this story, he's 19 and Kakashi is meant to be 38, but he's a very sexy 38-year old mind you, lol. Considering the extra dark themes and drugs and such in this fic, I don't think it's appropriate to have Sasuke too young.

**WARNING**: Contains yaoi, drugs, self-harm and other dark themes. If you are put off by any of these, please do not read!

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**(Kakashi's point of view)**

With the music blasting from the speakers, I can feel the thumping sound of the bass vibrating my insides to the core. Covering my ears won't do any good, and neither would taking a seat somewhere else. The music in here is too damn loud. It doesn't help that it's awful as well, probably reject 80's dance B-sides from the sound of it I'd imagine. I let out a sigh and try to focus my thoughts on something else, something other than this, but I can't even hear myself think let alone concentrate. Not that there is anything really decent to concentrate on anyway. The pretty girls know to stay away from this place, unless of course they enjoy getting hit on by greasy, middle age, overweight, balding men who think that their 70's style polyester shirts with open collars are stylish. I, for one, may be somewhat middle aged, but I'm certainly not balding and my body is in excellent shape thanks to putting in hours at the gym five days a week. I don't wear polyester either. The reason I'm here? Iruka…

It's his turn to choose where we go tonight and unfortunately for me he loves this place. Personally, I hate this club and everything about it. Rubbing my temples in annoyance I take a deep breath to calm myself down, but the thick cloud of second hand smoke encircling my head makes we want to gag. I will grin and bear it though because I've been dragged here by my best friend in order to celebrate the fact I've been promoted once again at work. The thought makes me break a smile. Yes, another promotion and another rung up the corporate ladder. I'm almost at the top, in fact, at this rate I'll be the favourite to take over the position of vice president of the company this time next year, as the current one is planning to start up another business. The competition for the position will be stiff, but I have a damn good shot at it! But here I am in a dingy, dirty club in the worst part of town; it doesn't really fit, does it? I'd try to suggest to Iruka that we should leave and go to one of the trendy cocktail bars further up the town, but there's no hope of that. Iruka doesn't feel comfortable in those places, besides it looks like he's having too much fun here.

I shake my head and let out another sigh at the sight of my friend making an ass out of himself on the dance floor, pulling out all of what he thinks are his best moves as he tries to impress some woman he's just met. It's painful to watch. Iruka is usually so sensible, but once he has some drink in him, his wits fly out the window.

Looking at my watch I decide to give it five more minutes then I'm going home. I should arrive back home just before midnight and Iruka can stay here with his other friends. He's in 'the zone' so there's no way he'll leave this early even if his house was on fire. Suddenly my trouser pocket starts to vibrate and instinctively I reach down and pull out my ringing phone.

"Kurenai," I smile to myself and quickly jog to the exit, narrowly avoiding some drunken idiot stumbling in my direction. The burst of fresh air feels amazingly refreshing against my sweat covered body as I finally get to leave that hot, stuffy bar. For the first time that night I dare breathe in deeply.

"Hello love, are you ok?" I ask, a smile spreading across my face.

"I'm fine, I was just wondering when you would be back. Do you want me to stay up for you?"

"It's alright; you don't have to stay up just for me. In fact, I'm about to leave and come home just now. I can't take anymore of this shit hole."

"Why do you keep going there then?" her gentle voice sounds from the other end of the phone.

"You know Iruka loves it there, and I got to choose the last place we went too so I guess I had no choice. I will see you soon though."

"Great! Oh! And I have a little surprise for you!"

"A surprise? What is it?" I beam; I do enjoy my wife's surprises.

"You will just have to wait and see!"

"I guess I will," I smile again before hanging up, my mind immediately thinking about what that 'surprise' might be.

I've been married to Kurenai for two years now, but we dated for a year before that. In fact, it was my father who introduced us and we've been together ever since. She is actually a daughter of one of his very wealthy friends, and as much as I resisted my father's attempts to set me up with someone he deemed 'acceptable', i.e. the same social standing as ourselves, I found it hard to resist Kurenai. There's something almost magnetic about her that draws people in; I couldn't keep away. She's stunning too. Shiny locks of soft black hair that I can't resist touching frame her round, delicately beautiful face. And her eyes, those eyes are magnificent, crimson red in colour and never failing to pull me in deeper every time I gaze at her. A smile is permanently spread across my face at the mental image. Thankfully I can go home now and leave Iruka to his partying. I'll send him a text later to let him know that I've left, not that he'll even notice I'm gone anyway. Besides, my battery is low so it'll have to wait until I get home. Why didn't I charge my phone before I left the house?

Grabbing my car keys from my pocket, I attempt to open the door, and right now I am extra happy I didn't have anything alcoholic to drink. I don't fancy waiting around here for a taxi by myself. It's a good thing I brought the 'other' car too; I don't think it would take long for my rather expensive Mercedes to get its windows smashed in this part of town. I don't like this area at all, so I rarely ever come here, only when Iruka decides he wants to drag me to that damned club of his.

A sudden, unexpected cry causes me to drop my keys.

"Get the fuck off me you bastards!" a panicked sounding voice yells. "I said NO!"

Now, I have two choices here. I could get into my car, drive off and get as far away as possible from this potentially dangerous situation, but no, I decided to head down that dark alleyway to see what was happening. I guess it was instinctive, I didn't even realise I was running to help before I was half way down the ally and almost knocked over by a small figure moving rapidly towards me. I grab him without thinking.

"Let go of me!" he cries, kicking me hard in the shin. The sudden jolt of pain shoots up my leg and he gets his wish, I immediately let go and he continues on running. He doesn't get very far though, in an instant another man appears from seemingly out of nowhere and knocks him to the side, his head colliding painfully against the wall before he collapses to the ground. He tries to get up again, but he's knocked off balance by a forceful kick to the ribs.

Shit. I'm frozen to the spot, my heart pounding. What the fuck have I gotten myself into? Why didn't I just get into the car and drive away as fast as I could? Oh why indeed.

"Where is the goddamn money you worthless little shit?!"

"I don't… it's not… I mean…"

Another kick to the ribs. I cringe at the sound of those heavy boots colliding with the boy's side, knocking the breath clean out of him. Oh fuck, what do I do? My heart continues to pound against the inside of my chest. Have they noticed me? Do they know I'm here?

"Who the fuck are you?" An irritated voice sounds from behind me.

Shit.

"WHO ARE YOU?" They yell again, this time I turn around. Well, at least I've distracted the guy who was beating up that boy, that's one good thing about this situation I guess.

"I'm… um….

"Not meant to fucking be here!" the voice sneers at me, the speaker stepping towards me threateningly. I back away, desperate to get away from this situation. Thoughts of Kurenai flood into my head. What if I never see her again?

"I guess so… yes. I'll just be on my way now and…"

"How much did you hear?"

"Huh? Me? Oh nothing…" I try to cover the fear in my voice, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job at it. I'm sure they must be able to hear my heart pounding too; it's loud enough to nearly deafen me.

"Yes you'd best be on your way or else you'll be experiencing this…" the boy's attacker laughs mockingly as he kicks the boy once again, causing him to cry out once more.

I can't just walk away and pretend this isn't happening, can I? I look down at the boy; he's leaning against the wall with his knees tucked up against his chest and his arms shielding his face. It's dark and I can't make out anything other than his quiet sobs. I can't see what state he's in. Oh fuck! What the hell do I do?

"So are you going on your way or not?"

"I'm… um…"

I take a deep breath and pray I'll live to see tomorrow.

"I… surely t-there's no n-need to be…"

"To be what?" One of the men sneers at me and moves in closer. My heart begins to race even faster than I ever thought was possible. My chest tightens and I struggle to hold myself together, but I manage to force the words out.

"Look, um… I'm sure the boy has… um… learned his lesson and he won't…"

"LEARNED HIS LESSON?" One of the men yells at me.

Oh fuck… why didn't I just leave when I had the chance?

"This little shit borrowed money from us and it seems like he can't pay it back. And this isn't the first time either!"

I don't know why I decided to say what I did next. Perhaps it was because I felt sorry for him, or because he was looking up at me with a look of desperation in his eyes. Or maybe it was for more selfish reasons because I didn't want to live with the guilt of not helping him, or not knowing what would happen to him if I left. Or possibly I'm just a downright decent person. Would they kill him? It seemed likely. I'll never know for sure why I said what I next; however then again, how was I to know about all the trouble it would cause?

"W-what about if I… you k-know… paid his dept off, would you leave him alone?"

And that was how Uchiha Sasuke found his way into my life. If I'd known what I do now, I would have run a mile at the first chance of getting out of that difficult situation. Oh why didn't I just run?

………………………………………………………………………………

"So what is your name then?" I try to break the uncomfortable silence between us as I drive him home. He hasn't spoken a word since I dragged him into my car. He didn't want a lift home, but I wasn't about to leave him there on his own after what happened, it seems like the boy has an impressive talent for getting himself into trouble. Who knows what the hell would have happened if I'd left him.

"I didn't need your help you know, I could have got out of that on my own," he scorns, refusing to look at me.

"Oh really?" I state in annoyance. "It didn't look that way to me, it looked like you were about to get your ass kicked."

Silence.

"So do you have a name?"

"Sasuke."

"Nice to meet you Sasuke, I'm Kakashi."

Silence.

I give up trying to talk to him; we can just sit here in complete silence until I dump him off at his house, the ungrateful little brat. He just cost me a few hundred, he could at least have said thanks. He sits pretty much with his back to me, his face cupped in his hand as he fidgets restlessly while trying to occupy himself by staring out of the window. He could be lying dead or seriously injured somewhere just now if it wasn't for me, you would think he'd at least make an effort to show some sort of appreciation. It's not every day a complete stranger agrees to pay off your dept for you! Still, I wonder how he came to get involved with those people anyway, what did he need their money for? I guess this is another thing I'll never know as it was enough of a struggle just finding out his name. He looks young too, how did he manage to get himself caught up in that?

"Shouldn't you be in bed for school tomorrow or something? What are you doing out so late anyway?"

"I'm older than I look!" he snaps, before spinning around to glare at me, but immediately turning away again to resume staring out of the window.

Well, it seems like patronising him a bit is the best way to get information out of him.

"What, like 16?" I smirk.

"I'm 19 actually."

"Then shouldn't you know better than to go off borrowing money from strange, dangerous looking men?"

"I needed it! Ok! I didn't have any other option, now shut the hell up! You don't know a damn thing about me and you have no right to ask either!" he sneers, his tone becoming more and more irritated by the second.

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought I just saved your ass back there. Surely I have some right to know what I just spent my money on."

Dear God give me patience, this kid is really starting to piss me off.

"I told you I didn't need your help!" he cries in response. "Stop questioning me! It's none of your business!"

"Alright, fine," I hiss. "But the next time you find yourself stuck up shit creek without a paddle, don't come crying to me."

"I won't."

"Good."

I immediately focus my full attention to the steering wheel before I crash the car out of blind rage. I can not believe the nerve of this kid! I hope I never fucking have to set eyes on him again after this. What a waste of my goddamn hard earned money… and petrol! Helping out some brat who doesn't even have the audacity to say thank you, I wish I'd left him there to get his shit kicked in.

"Look… I'm sorry…" he utters almost inaudibly. "Thanks…"

"Huh?"

Is he thanking me?

"um… you're welcome." I reply, still in a bit of shock but thankful to finally get some recognition for my random act of kindness, however insincere it might be.

The rest of the car journey was made in silence. Sasuke continued to stare out of the window with his back turned to me, and I continued to drive deeper into the bad neighbourhood to drop him off home. He's very restless and fidgety, it seems that he can't settle at all, but I guess after what he's been through I can't really blame him. Maybe he'll calm down a bit when he arrives home.

I can't resist the urge to quickly peer over to have another look at him. I have to admit that he is a very pretty little thing, striking I might say. His skin is milky white, raven-black hair falls across his smooth, boyish face, brushing gently past those soft pink lips. He doesn't look 19, I wonder if he's telling me the truth. Either way if I was a girl I'd be all over him. His small frame is hidden beneath a tattered looking baggy black hoodie; his jeans seem to be old and washed out too, there's some blood stains on them from earlier too. Well, I guess if he's running about borrowing money from people just to get by, he's not going to be too bothered about going out and buying himself some new clothes.

I'm not sure why but that protective element comes over me again; I really want to take him out and buy him some new clothes… or something. I quickly shake the thought out of my head. What am I thinking? As if that ungrateful little brat would even thank me for it? Well… he might. Fuck! Why are these thoughts still entering my head? I mean, I still don't know why I choose to help him in the first place. It was a spur of the moment thing; the words exited my mouth before I even had a chance to properly think things over. I just don't understand and the more I think about it, the more confused I get.

"What?" He snaps, immediately breaking my thoughts. Oh crap, how long was I staring at him for? He must have caught me.

"Nothing. Are we near your house yet?"

"It's the next left."

"Ok."

I steer the car around the corner and I'm shocked by what I see. Is this where he lives? Is there even electricity? We drive up to a dilapidated block of flats that barely look fit to live in. Windows are broken and layers of graffiti, old and new, stain the grimy, old brick walls. I can't leave him off here, can I? Wait a minute, no, surely he doesn't live here. There must be another building just along the way or something.

"Let me off here," his voice trails off in a defeated tone.

"Is this where you live?"

"Yeah…"

"Really?" I stare at the crumbling building in front of me, my eyes wide with shock.

"Yes!" he cries. "Just fucking let me out, ok!"

That feeling comes over me again, the one I can't understand. Why should I care so much about this kid? He has nothing to do with me; I have no obligation to look out for him or freaking mother him for that matter. Once I dump him off here it's not like I'm ever going to see him again and I'm sure he isn't going to want to see me again either. So then… why does it bother me so much?

"Look, before you go," I state and quickly pull a notebook from the side compartment of my car. "This is my phone number…"

"I don't have a phone."

"Ok… this is my address. If you need anything, you can find me here." I scribble my address down on the scrap of paper and attempt to hand it to him.

"Why do you care?" he looks at me suspiciously. "Nobody gives a shit about me."

"Please just take it."

He snatches it roughly from my hand and without looking at me, he rapidly exits the car and slams shut the door. My heart drops as I see him limp his way towards that run-down shack of an excuse for a flat, hunched over and clutching at his sore ribs. Yeah… he actually lives there and he's more hurt than he's been letting on.

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"Kakashi! What took you so long?" Kurenai snaps at me as I come in through the door of our house.

"You shouldn't have waited up for me…" I sigh.

"I had no idea where you could have been! Your phone was off, you could have been lying dead in a ditch or something!" she shrieks.

"I'm sorry, my battery died…"

"So where have you been!"

I'm still running on auto pilot just now, but I manage to catch my tongue before the truth slips out. No, there is no need to tell her about Sasuke, she would just freak out if she knew the circumstances under which I stumbled across him. She doesn't need to know about the money either. I make that much anyway she won't notice it missing. I could always say that I spent it on clothes or car stuff or something.

"I thought I was taking a short cut home, but I took a wrong turn and it took me ages to find my way again," I lie, hopefully convincingly.

"Ok…" she eyes me suspiciously for a moment, but after a few seconds she seems to accept the excuse. "Well! I know it's late, but don't you want to see your surprise? You deserve it for earning yet another promotion!"

"Huh… um… ok…"

"You go to bed, I'll be with you in just a minute," she winks at me suggestively and quickly disappears off upstairs, her soft black locks swaying behind her.

What she said didn't really sink in, but I make my way upstairs anyway. I look around my home, the space and expensive furnishings almost make me feel sick to my stomach after seeing that poor boy's living arrangements. Thank goodness I didn't see the inside! I probably would have grabbed him and brought him home with me, kicking and struggling the entire way. Fuck sake! There I go again! Why can't I stop thinking about him? He's rude, difficult and very ungrateful; surely I should _want_ to forget about him and never set eyes on him again! Hell! I should probably be forcing him to pay me back every damn penny! The thing is that I do want to forget him though, but for some reason I just can't

Before I even realise it, I'm upstairs and in the bedroom. I let out a sigh and kick my shoes off, removing my trousers and unbuttoning my shirt, before flopping down unceremoniously on top of the bed. I shut my eyes and prepare myself for an uneasy night's sleep.

"Well… what do you think? Do you like?"

My eyes shoot open.

Kurenai is standing at the door, leaning seductively against its frame, her breasts barely covered by a thin layer of red lace and ribbons. There isn't much to the bottom half of this, erm… ensemble either. A small triangle of see-through material just about conceals her, sort off. My first thought is how bloody much did this barely-existent garment cost, secondly followed by oh my God! She makes her way towards me, innocently fiddling with her hair, but that look in her crimson red eyes that suggests she's going to jump me at any second.

Kurenai is a beautiful woman; she could have anybody she wanted. Even in her mid-thirties she looks just as amazing as she did in her twenties, she hasn't aged at all. That long black hair frames her delicately feminine face, the movements of her slim and toned body are graceful and elegant as she climbs slowly onto the bed, stopping only when her lips are about to touch mine. God she's beautiful, every man's fantasy… but I'm just not in the mood. My thoughts are elsewhere, straying too close to a certain raven-haired boy that I so desperately want to forget.

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I admit that the story is a bit slow to start, but it will get more exciting as it goes on as the characters will have plenty of personal issues to tackle, especially Sasuke. Poor Kakashi is going to fight with his sexuality a lot too! Please review and let me know if I should continue or not. If I get enough interest I'll start work on the second chapter, and hopefully continue the story on to the end. Please let me know if you think I should keep going. This story will most definitely contain lemons of the yaoi variety, but not for a few chapters yet.

Thanks so much!

Laura xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Numb: Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters (just borrowing!) and I'm not making a penny from this (still poor)!

**Author's notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, favourited, etc, the first chapter of this story! It's great to know that you are enjoying it so far, and it definitely encourages me to keep writing. Thank you SO much. Here is the second chapter which I really hope you all enjoy. Things are starting to happen now, so it won't be as slow as the first chapter. Kakashi makes a big discovery about Sasuke.

Enjoy!

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**(Kakashi's point of view)**

"Ok love, I'm just about to go to work but I'll give you a ring at lunch time and I'll bring something nice home for dinner," Kurenai smiles as she places a soft kiss against my lips as I lie half asleep in bed. "Enjoy your day off, but remember I still want that living room clean before I get back!"

"Yes, of course, I'll see you later," I yawn, so pleased to have a day off work after yesterday's events. My eyes slowly drift shut again as I get ready to thoroughly enjoy my much needed lie-in. The living room can be cleaned later.

Suddenly my eyes shoot open again.

"Sasuke!" I gasp out loud, as I start to remember last night's incident more clearly. What the hell? Why am I still thinking about him? Surely he's forgotten about me and I doubt very much he'll even want to try and remember considering how he acted last night towards me. I think he made it perfectly clear that he wants nothing to do with me at all. I curse myself for being so irritating, the sooner I can forget about that boy and put these poisonous thoughts behind me, the better!

I force shut my eyes, determined to make the most of my much deserved lie-in, promising myself that I'm not getting up until afternoon time. However, just as I'm about to block my mind from drifting into forbidden territory again, the door bell suddenly rings.

"Fuck sake!" I mutter under my breath. "Go away!"

A few seconds later it rings again.

I swear Kurenai better not have forgotten her key again! I don't get lie-ins very often and I was damn well looking forward to this one. Annoyed, I drag myself up and pull on my trousers from last night. It rings for a third time as I throw on a shirt that was lying across the chair beside me.

"For God's sake I'm coming already!" I hiss again as I storm downstairs doing up the buttons as I run. I swear this better be important.

"What…." I shout as I open the door, but suddenly my anger fizzes away and is replaced with absolute shock. In my still half-asleep daze, am I seeing things?

"Sasuke?" I gasp, my eyes opening wide as I stare at him with a puzzled expression.

"No… You're imaging things in your old age," he glares back at me with those emotionless dark eyes, completely unimpressed.

I quickly try to gather myself, my heart is racing at one hundred miles per hour and I can't understand why. It's not like he's anyone important or anything like that. I guess it must just be the shock of the unexpected I'm experiencing right now. Yeah, that has it be it.

"What are you doing here?" I ask him, trying to cover up my flustered exterior as best I can.

"You gave me your address, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I guess I did… um, are you alright?"

"Ok…" he takes a deep breath, almost like he's about to force himself to say his next words. His cocky stance slowly disappears and he stares awkwardly at his feet, the whole time refusing to look me in the eyes.

"I came here because I want to say thank you," he continues to stare at the ground. "What you did last night was amazing, and I'm very grateful for your help. Those guys would have killed me if you hadn't stepped in when you did," he takes another deep breath. "I want to try and pay back the money you lost because of me and I want to know if I could, maybe, work off my dept for you? I could clean your house or car a couple of times a week or something. I don't know…" He shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other, anxiously waiting for my response. "I hope I can be off some use to you."

"Y…you want to work for me?" I look down at him, but he still won't return my gaze.

"Yeah…"

Right now he is a completely different boy to what he was before, and immediately that unexplained protective impulse I have over him kicks in again at full blast. He looks so lost, defeated… upset. I want to take him into my arms and tell him that everything will be alright. It won't be though; I mean I can't let Kurenai find out about him. I don't want her to know about what I got involved in last night and I certainly don't want her to know what I did. She wouldn't understand. She'd just look at Sasuke and immediately dismiss him as a waste of space from the bad part of town, not to mention she'd be furious if she found out how much I gave him and she definitely wouldn't want him in our house.

"Sasuke, don't worry about the money or trying to pay it back or whatever," I smile. "Let's consider it a gift and in return you can promise not to get yourself involved in something like that again. I want you to get yourself a job…"

"Get a job!" he cries, interrupting me abruptly mid-sentence. It looks like I've accidently hit another nerve. "Do you think I haven't been trying? Do you think that I'm just some lazy, worthless bum who wants to live on hand outs for the rest of my life? Employers take one look at me, find out where I live and then immediately dismiss me as worthless trash! How can I handle the responsibility of a job when I can't even look after myself?"

"Ok… calm down, I'm sorry if I offended you!" I gasp as I hold the door open for him. "Look, come inside and we can have a talk about things. I really don't need any help or anything just now, so you don't need to work for me but maybe we can sort something out."

He hesitantly steps inside and I close the door behind him.

"Sorry…" he utters again quietly. "Sometimes I can't control my outbursts."

"It's ok," I smile at him. "Have you had breakfast or anything?"

"Huh? Um… no," he looks at me puzzled.

"Great, I haven't either. What do you want to eat?"

"Huh?"

I'm going to make a greasy, dirty fry. Do you want one too?"

"Um… ok…" he looks at me again with that same confused expression. I guess it isn't that often people invite him into their house and offer to cook for him.

"Alright, come into the kitchen with me and have a seat at the table. It won't be long," I gesture at him to follow me which he does, but not before hesitating again. As he follows me in complete silence I can sense his discomfort. I can almost hear his heart racing too.

"Kakashi…" he states, causing me to stop and look behind at him. "Why are you being so nice to me? What do you want?"

"What? What do you mean?" I swear this boy finds new ways to surprise me every five minutes.

"It's just from past experiences; people aren't usually nice to me unless they want something. Usually… well, you know," he turns his head and looks away from me.

"I don't know," I reply, still as confused. What the hell is this boy implying?

"Favours."

"Favours? Sasuke what are you talking about? I don't want anything from you, I just want to make you breakfast."

"Really?"

"Yes, really!"

"Ok, forget what I said then."

This boy is always on the defensive, and it a way it really upsets me. It's like he won't trust anyone or accept that there are people out there who genuinely want to be nice to him. You ask him something, or do something kind for him and he immediately switches on his defenses, assumes the negative and then lashes out at you. What has he been through that's made him this distrusting, this defensive? He must have had some very bad experiences in his life that's completely shattered him. I wish I could help rebuild him, I really do, but it's not worth Kurenai finding out. I hate that I'm about to discard him, probably like everyone else has done, but he will only end up causing more arguments and grief than he's worth. I suppose I can always help him out financially though until he finds a job or something, Kurenai doesn't need to know about that. Yes, that's what I'll do.

He takes a seat at the table and looks around in awe. He's probably never been in a house this grand before. I take another look at him and smile to myself before I pull the pans down from the cupboard. He really is beautiful. He tucks a few strands of that raven black hair behind his ears, revealing evidence of his encounter with those men last night. Those bruises immediately snap me back into protective mode. Maybe I can help him without Kurenai finding out; maybe I can help him find a job? I'm sure there must be some people I know who would hire him. If he had a job he wouldn't feel so worthless by living on hand-outs from me, he could earn his own money and eventually he could afford to live somewhere better. I've got some friends with small businesses; I'm sure I could pull in a few favours and find him part-time work in a café or something.

"Are you feeling alright? I mean, after last night?" I ask him, breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

"Are you badly hurt?"

"I'm fine," he responds, again without turning to face me.

"Are you sure? You took some rough blows back there. Do you want to see a doctor?"

"I said I'm fine!" he snaps.

"Alright, alright! Here's a cup of tea while you wait for breakfast." I sigh as I put the cup down on the table beside him. It looks like the attitude is back.

"Thanks…" he whispers, just loud enough for me to hear.

I swear this boy confuses me so much. One minute he's yelling at me, and then the next minute he's sweet and nice. His mood changes faster than I can keep up with.

He takes a sip of his tea as I start to cook breakfast. It should be fine to let him stay here for the time being, Kurenai shouldn't be back from work until later this evening. Seeing him on other days won't be so easy though as I only get one day off a week, but I suppose I could always drop by his place after work a few days a week to see if he needs anything.

"Kakashi?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is that?" he points at a picture of me and Kurenai that hangs on the wall.

"That's Kurenai, she's my wife."

"Your wife! You're married?" he gasps in surprise.

"Yes, didn't you see my wedding ring?"

"No, I wasn't really looking."

"Well we've been married for a few years now, she's at work today. You will have to leave before she comes back though or else I'll get bombarded with awkward questions." I smile, hoping that he won't take that the wrong way. You can never really tell with this boy how he's going to react to anything.

"Oh, right. Ok." He replies. "I was just curious."

"It's alright, feel free to ask any questions you like and I'll do my best to answer. She'll not be home until this evening so you don't have to rush breakfast or anything. I need to clean the living room at some point today, but you're welcome to stay for a while. It's cold outside, but I'll give you a lift home whenever you want to leave so you don't have to walk."

"Clean the living room? Can I help?"

"Um… I guess so if you really want too. You don't have to Sasuke, I told you that the money was a gift and you don't need to worry about trying to work it off or anything like that."

"I just want to help, you know, to say thanks for breakfast."

"Ok then, well, enjoy!" I smile, putting the plate of food down in front of him.

……………………………………………………………………………..

It's not long before the living room is clean, and although Sasuke does have his difficult moments, he's actually a very sweet boy… when he wants to be. I don't know though, he tends to get very restless and fidgety at times too. He's a strange one; I don't fully understand him at all.

"I'm going home."

"What?" I ask. "Now?"

"Yes," he breaks eye contact with me and heads for the door.

"Hang on a minute and I'll give you a lift, it's too cold out there for you to walk the entire way back. Plus, you're still limping a bit from yesterday."

"I told you I'm fine! I made it the whole way here, didn't I?" he spits, almost pushing me out of the way.

I don't understand, his mood has changed again so quickly. What's wrong with him? He was fine up until this point. He was even laughing and joking as he helped me tidy up earlier. He felt comfortable with me, but now? I don't know.

"Sasuke, let me give you a lift home."

"NO! I'm fine! Get out of my way!" he cries, adamant to get past me and out the door.

"What's wrong with you?" I shout, my patience slipping away. I've had enough, I don't have to take this from him, especially since I was trying to do him a good turn. "You are the most ungrateful little shit to ever walk this planet! I am trying to be kind to you and you throw it back in my face every time! Why are you suddenly so eager to leave? You were fine when I was fucking feeding you!"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" he yells at me and slams the front door shut so hard that it's almost dismantled from its hinges. He leaves me stunned and infuriated. That's it, screw him! I am never going to offer him any help ever again. He doesn't exist any more to me. But still, I wish I knew what triggered that sudden mood swing, he was so sweet and nice until five minutes ago. Fuck I don't know, but all I do know is that's the last time I'm ever going to help anyone like him ever again!

………………………………………………………………………………..

"I'm home sweetheart, and I was thinking we should eat out tonight," Kurenai bursts in through the door and greets me with her usual kiss to my lips. She suddenly backs off when she sees the fowl expression on my face.

"Jesus, who died?" she asks sarcastically, her arms folded.

"Nobody."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"Kakashi, I'm not an idiot. What's wrong love?"

I quickly snap out of my mood, its best Kurenai learns nothing about Sasuke and what happened earlier. She doesn't need to know, besides the boy is history now. I'm going to have nothing more to do with him, the little bastard can rot in hell for all I care now.

"Sorry love, I'm fine. Iruka just called and asked me to do an extra shift for him, like I'm not busy enough! I was just a little annoyed. So, where do you want to go out for dinner tonight, I'll pay." I ask, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, I see, that's alright, I can understand why you're annoyed. You're doing so many extra shifts as it is. I hope you told him no! I barely get to see you these days anyway," she purrs as she starts to softly kiss my neck, sending a pleasurable tingling feeling shooting through my flesh. "You can take me to that lovely fish restaurant in town, and afterwards, who knows… I might just have another surprise in store for you…"

"I like the sound of that," I smile and turn around to catch her lips briefly with mine. "I'll just go and grab my wallet."

"Ok, I'll go and put on my coat."

Walking over to my jacket in the living room, I put my hand into the pocket to find my wallet. That damn fish restaurant is expensive; I better make sure I bring enough cash with me, and my card, just in case Kurenai decides she wants to add an over-priced bottle of champagne to the bill as well. I check the first pocket and then the other. Strange, my wallet was definitely in there! I checked earlier today. What? Why isn't it here? I search through the pockets frantically… nothing. Then it suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks.

"That little bastard!" I scream, causing Kurenai to jump.

"What are you talking about Kakashi, what little bastard?" she looks at me puzzled.

"I'm going to break that damn scrawny neck of his!" I yell again, pushing past my very confused wife. "No wonder he was so damned eager to leave earlier!"

"What? Where are you going? Who was so eager to leave?"

"I'll be back shortly," I state, before shooting through the front door and storming towards my car, Kurenai in tow.

"Hatake Kakashi, tell me right now where you are going!" she shouts, pulling frantically at my arm. "I want to know who was in our house earlier!"

I shake her off and slam shut the door of the car, shoving the key into the ignition. I am going to murder that damned little brat! He will pay me back every penny, even the money I used to pay off his dept. I will make him. I don't care if I have to force him to scrub my toilet for the next three years!

"KAKASHI!" Kurenai shouts as I start to pull out from the driveway. I ignore her, right now I am focused on one thing, that ungrateful little shit has a lot to try and explain but I'll wring his neck until I get answers. I can not believe he had the nerve to steal from me after everything I've done for him. God do I wish I'd left him there to get his shit kicked in. He must have deserved every blow.

…………………………………………………………………………….

I march up to the entrance of the dilapidated building in front of me, ignoring the stench of urine and ammonia that unpleasantly invades my senses. This place is truly disgusting, I'd feel sorry for Sasuke if he hadn't done what he did, but right now any sympathy I once had for him has faded into disgust and hatred. I bump into some random drunk on the way upstairs, his breath stinks of alcohol as he stumbles over to me.

"H…hellooo thar…." He slurs as he bumps into me, his filthy and urine soaked jacket pressing a little to close my designer clothes for my liking. He wraps his arm around me in a friendly gesture even though he's probably too wrecked to even work out that I'm a complete stranger.

"Sasuke. Where does he live?"

"Sarsky? Who's that?"

"Sasuke, he lives in this block of flats. Where can I find him?" I carefully attempt to remove the man's arm from around my shoulder, hoping that if I do it slowly enough he won't actually notice.

"Oh yeah… t…that Uchiha… k…kid…up thar," he slurs again, shakily pointing to a door just upstairs. In the dim light I can just about make out a grey coloured door a flight of stairs above me.

"He…he's a nice k… kid he is, or he w… was, if only h… he did-ernt have t… that habit…"

"What? Stealing?" I ask sarcastically as I try to get past this annoying man blocking the staircase.

"No… no …no," the drunk man laughs. "T…t…the other one… the o…other habit…"

"Ok, whatever," I hiss, my patience spreading out even more thinly. "Thank you for your help, now I need to get upstairs."

"O…ok, you have a…a nice d…day sir…"

I quickly push past him and barge towards Sasuke's door. It's barely hanging on its hinges so a few good kicks would probably knock it down. I reach for the handle and to my surprise it opens, I guess the boy doesn't have a lock on his door, a bit stupid considering where he lives, but anyway that's not my problem.

"SASUKE! YOU THIEVING LITTLE BASTARD! WHERE ARE YOU?" I yell as I burst through the door.

Silence.

Fuck sake, he must be keeping quiet in the hope that I'll think he's not in. He's got going to have any such luck. His rudeness I can put up with, I could even tolerate his ungratefulness to a certain extent, but I draw the line at stealing. The little shit is going to pay.

"Sasuke! Where are you?" I shout again as I make my way deeper inside. The flat is dark, the only dim lighting coming from the now fading sunlight from outside. It's freezing in here too. He shouldn't be hard to find, there aren't many places he could hide as this place is tiny. I walk through what appears to be a kitchen, although the only evidence is a dirty sink and what was probably a table at some point. I wonder if he actually lives here, this looks more like a place for squatters rather than somebody's home, there's even graffiti on the walls. Surely this place has been long abandoned. Fuck that little asshole! He probably lead me nowhere, he doesn't really live here! He must have asked me to drop him off here yesterday because he didn't want me to know where he really lived. He must have planned to rob me! I'm so angry my blood feels like it's literally starting to boil in my veins. I curse myself for being so trusting.

Just as I'm about to leave, I hear a weak whisper.

"Kakashi?"

I spin around. The whisper was so quiet that I only just caught it. Actually, maybe I just imagined it.

"Kakashi?"

I hear it again, only ever so slightly louder this time. I quickly run towards where I think I heard the sound coming from, and it's not long before I stop dead in my tracks and my eyes open wide with shock. To my horror I see a small body curled up on the floor.

"Shit! Sasuke! Is that you?"

Before I even remember moving, I'm over at the boy's side and I have him in my arms. He rests his head against my chest and allows me to hold him. His body shakes uncontrollably in my grasp. It's too dark to see his face. I start to panic, what's wrong with him?

"K… Kakashi… help me…" he whispers. "P…please h…help me… I d… don't want this… any…a…a…anymore."

"Sasuke, what's wrong! Tell me what's wrong!" I cry, my heart starting to race, the panic rapidly replacing any anger I once had.

I back up slightly in order to give him more room, but my foot comes in contact with something solid, but small underneath my shoe. My blood runs cold as I abruptly realise what it is. My heart begins to slam painfully against the inside of my chest as I pick up the needle and look at it in disbelief.

"Oh God no… Sasuke, NO!" I cry, pulling his trembling body closer to mine to try and keep him warm. Tears start to swell up in my eyes, what do I do? Shaking, I reach into my pocket to pull out my mobile phone in the hope of calling an ambulance. No such luck, I forgot that I hadn't charged it from last night.

"Fuck!" I cry out loud. "Hang on Sasuke, I'll help you, I promise."

He clutches onto me as I scoop him up in my arms and make my way out of the building. I have to get him to a hospital. Fast. He might have over-dosed; he could die!

It was at that moment I decided that I would help Sasuke. I will do whatever I can to save him and help him get well again, no matter what the cost and no matter how much he protests, fights or struggles against it. I can't bring myself to abandon him. Kurenai will just have to understand… even though I have no absolutely no idea how I'm going to explain this to her or how she will react.

**End of Chapter 2 **

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I think I'll carry on this story for now, but I'm still not 100 per cent sure I'll definitely continue with it, as if I do, it's probably going to be a long one that's going to take ages to finish! Please review and give me your thoughts. Do you like where it's going so far? Is it worth continuing? I'm still kind of torn on this one!

Laura xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Numb: Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters.

**Author's notes**: Thank you so much for all of the wonderful reviews! I'm glad that everyone seems to be enjoying it so far, and your kind comments keep me writing. I hope you enjoy this chapter too, it's a bit shorter than the others but there's a lot going on!

Enjoy!

………………………………………………………………………

(Kakashi's point of view)

"Sasuke, it's going to be ok," I cry as I lift the limp, but trembling figure up into my arms. "Just hang on! I'm going to get you help!"

My heart races to the point where I can feel it slamming roughly and painfully against the inside of my ever tightening chest, but I force myself to keep the panic at bay, or to a manageable level at least. I have to keep calm for his sake; I've got to find him help! It's too dark to see his face clearly, but his shallow, weak breathing and uncontrollable trembling is terrifying me right to the core. I don't want this boy to die here in my arms. I still don't know why I care so much about him. Considering how he's acted towards me from the first moment we met, and the fact he stole from me, I should hate his guts, but I don't. All I feel right now is worry and fear that I'll loose him. I'll probably never really know why I feel like this about him, I just do. End of story.

My mind races wildly as I try to remember where the nearest hospital is, but the routes I know become muddled up in my head, to the point where they all seem to blend into one meaningless jumble. Fuck! As I continue to think, he tucks his head tightly into my chest as he continues to gasp for air, the shaking relentless as I run down the stairs with him towards my car. Thankfully there's nobody else here to get in my way like that pitiful drunk I encountered here earlier. With my body moving faster than it's ever done before, it doesn't take long to reach the battered front door of the building.

"Sasuke, what have you done to yourself?" I sigh under my breath as I finally get him outside. Hopefully the fresh air might help him breathe a little better, but his breaths continue to come in shallow gasps. A feeling of sickness rapidly engulfs the pit of my stomach as something tells me he's not going to make it. I want to throw up.

"K…K… Kakashi…" he manages to force out in between breaths. "I… I'm… s…sorry…"

"It's alright, you're forgiven, but just you hang in there, ok?" I reply as I place him into the passenger seat of my car, the light finally revealing his much paler than usual face. To be honest with myself, I don't think he even heard me. His pupils are like pin pricks, his skin is damp and clammy to the touch and it looks like his lips are starting to turn blue. Oh God this is scary, even scarier than encountering those guys in that alleyway last night. I've never experienced anything like this before in my life and I pray that I never will again, but the sight will be forever etched into my memory. I wouldn't even wish this on my worst enemy.

"It's ok Sasuke; everything's going to be ok…" I pant, but I'm not sure if those words were meant to reassure the boy, or reassure myself. I need all the hope in the world right now, however false it may be, I just need some sort of optimism to cling desperately too. Taking a deep breath to try and pull back my wandering senses, I pull my coat off and quickly wrap it around him before running around and jumping into the driver's side of the car.

Nervously I stick the key into the ignition, hoping that in my confused and panicked state, I can still remember how to start the damn thing up. The sick feeling in my stomach continues as I hear Sasuke's breathing become more and more laboured. How long has he been like this? The longer he's been lying there in this state, the lower chances he has of surviving. I'm worried that he'll suffocate, it's definitely a likely possibility. The sound of the engine revving up brings me a small sense of relief, at least we are on our way now. It won't be long until I can get him help. If I drive fast enough, I'm sure I can reach the nearest hospital in fifteen or twenty minutes.

Slamming my foot on the accelerator, it's not long before I get the car moving off in the direction of the hospital, my mind finally experiencing a brief moment of clarity when it hits me fully that I'm his only chance. If I don't get him help quickly enough it will be the end for him and I can't let that happen.

Now normally I'm the most careful of drivers, I'd never break the speed limit and I always hold back if the person in front needs to make a turn, and I'd certainly never overtake in a pedestrian area or skip a red light, but right now I'm not exactly myself. A red car sounds its horn loudly and flashes its lights as I serve around it, the driver trying to make a left turn into a housing estate. I get several more loud beeps as I speed through a red light, another car having to break suddenly to avoid a collision. Fuelled by adrenaline, I can just about concentrate on what's in front of me but I've only got the one thing on my mind, and that one thing is becoming more and more lethargic by the second. His head flops listlessly against the window beside him as he struggles to breathe. He's stopped making any sounds which is worrying me more, I can't let him fall into unconsciousness or else there's no way he'll wake up again. I need to keep him awake.

"Sasuke!" I cry, desperately trying to get his attention whilst attempting, just about successfully, to focus on the road ahead as well.

Silence.

"SASUKE!" I yell again, my heart almost giving up on me from worry.

"hnn…"

Thank God, he's still responsive… sort off…

"Sasuke, hang in there ok? We're nearly there, don't fall asleep! DO NOT FALL ASLEEP, do you hear me?"

Silence.

Oh fuck… my heart races into overdrive as I finally get a sight of the hospital in front of me, we're so nearly there. Please Sasuke, please don't give up, we're so close now!

"SASUKE!!!" I scream once again, desperately trying to get his attention for the second time.

Silence.

If I can only keep him responsive for a just few minutes longer… come on Sasuke! The hospital is in sight! I thump his arm hard with my fist and to my relief he raises his hand slowly to rub the sore area, his head still flopped against the window and his eyes barely open. His breathing is becoming so difficult I'm sure he's already starting to suffocate. He's the colour of a corpse.

I swerve in through the front gates of the hospital, not bothering to slow down for the corner. It felt as if the car could've tipped over, but at least we've finally made it. The drive only took about fifteen minutes, but it felt like an hour. It didn't feel real at all, I'm still half expecting to wake up in my bed with Kurenai lying, still sound asleep beside me any second now.

"Look Sasuke! We're here!" I shout, shaking him slightly as I pull up into the parking area, and stopping my car abruptly in the middle of the road. I can park it properly later, right now I've got to get him inside.

Nearly tripping over myself, I just about manage to get out of the car in one piece, my heart continuing to race and my chest so tight, I myself can barely breathe. Everything is happening in slow motion, it still doesn't seem real. Am I dreaming? Please let this be a dream. No such luck.

As I open the car door on the passenger side, Sasuke pretty much tumbles out on top of me, his body motionless. I manage to scoop his limp frame up in my arms in one swift action as I kick the door shut with my leg.

"Sasuke? SASUKE! Come on Sasuke!" I shout as I sprint towards the front door of the building. "Answer me!!!" His pupils have now become so dilated, I can no longer tell pupil from iris. He's sweating buckets and to be honest, so am I.

Silence.

"ANSWER ME SASUKE!!!"

Silence.

Oh God, is he already dead? I force myself to swallow down the vomit rising up from my stomach as I see his eyes are now closed shut. Am I too late? Please don't let me be too late! The hospital is right here! We're here, we've made it! I'll never forgive myself if I'm a minute too late. Why didn't I leave the house five minutes earlier? Why did I stop to talk to that drunken idiot on the steps of the apartment block? Could I have driven here a little faster? I'm sure I could've, why didn't I??? An extra five miles per hour could've made all the difference? Maybe if I'd just overtaken a few more cars…

I can hear my own heart beat amplifying; the sound is enough to almost deafen me and drown out all other noise. I don't even remember coming through the front door of this building, nor do I remember screaming for help. But now, all of a sudden I'm surrounded by people dressed in white with very worried looking faces. The next thing I know Sasuke is being taken from my arms and rushed off down a nearby corridor, further and further from my reach. It's not long before I can't see him anymore. All I can do is stand there frozen from shock, my arms still reaching out from where he was taken.

"Sir… SIR?"

A voice coming from beside me breaks my shocked daze.

"Can you tell me what happened to him?"

"I… I… I…" I gasp, trying unsuccessfully to kick start myself into action again. I want to speak, but words won't come out of my mouth. I'm too distracted by morbid thoughts. Did that boy just _die_ in my arms?

"Sir, I really need you to answer my question. If we know what exactly happened to him we can react more efficiently to treat him, and therefore he'll have a better chance of survival."

"He took something… a needle, there was a needle beside him," I manage to force out.

"Ok," the woman beside me states calmly. She's dressed in a nurse's uniform, so she must be hospital staff. "It would appear that he may be experiencing a heroin overdose. That's what we suspected when we first saw him. Did you bring the contents of the needle here with you?"

A heroin overdose? My eyes widen. I mean I should've known it, the evidence was right there in front of my eyes, but I didn't want to believe it. Sasuke is so young, how did he get caught up in something as extreme as that? He's not even out of his teens yet! What the fuck led him to do it? It must have been something drastic in itself.

"No.., I don't have the needle," I squeak, my voice unable to form words properly. "W…w…will he be ok?"

"I can't answer that right now because I don't know, but we'll do everything we can for him."

"Ok…" I gulp, my mind still not fully comprehending everything that just happened in the last few minutes.

"Could you answer a few more questions for me? It's just for his records," she asks.

"Um... yeah…"

"Ok, what's his name?"

"Sasuke." I reply as she writes down the information on her clipboard.

"Age?"

"Nineteen… I think."

"Any underlying health problems?" she continues to question me.

"I don't know."

"Is he allergic to any medications?"

"I don't know!" I cry. "I don't really know very much about him!"

"Ok, what is your name and are you any relation to him, or a friend perhaps?

"Kakashi… Hatake Kakashi… I don't know…" I gasp, my mind still not focusing as it should. "Friend I guess."

"Alright sir, thank you. I know it's hard, but try to keep calm and take a seat in the waiting area. We'll keep you updated on his condition, and as I said before, we'll do our best for him, but it might be best to prepare yourself for the worst… you know, just in case," she places a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I wish I could give you a definite answer, but these cases in particular are very unpredictable."

"Can I see him?"

"Not yet I'm afraid."

"What are they going to do to him?" I start to tremble as the realisation of what just happened slowly begins to sink in, and my senses start returning somewhat.

"Firstly they will attempt to regulate and monitor his breathing, then he will be treated with medication to counter the effects of the heroin. It should work quickly, but it may put him into immediate withdrawal but we'll see how he reacts. I have to go now and hand these notes over, but you will be kept updated."

I nod slowly and take a seat in a nearby private waiting room. Resting my head in my hands, I take several deep breaths and try to calm myself down. Why am I falling to bits like this? I barely know this kid; I mean I couldn't even answer for definite any of that nurse's questions about him other than his name. I don't understand how he can have such a powerful effect on me. It's not like he's family or anything or even a close friend, he's just some kid I stumbled across during an awkward situation yesterday night.

Suddenly another worrying thought crashes into my head like a bolt of lightening.

"Oh fuck!" I cry out loud, my heart starting to race again. Kurenai!!! I completely disappeared on her earlier and with the stress of what just happened, I forgot about her entirely! Panicking, I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone, only to remember that the battery died a long time ago. I start to panic more. She'll have been trying to call me and getting the answering machine every time, she'll be so worried, borderline hysteric I'd imagine. Quickly I jump to my feet and run out of the room in the direction to the closest staff member, who directs me towards the nearest payphone.

Fumbling around in my pockets for change, I stop suddenly just as I put the receiver up to my face, my fingers hovering over the coin slot… oh shit! Just how exactly am I going to explain this to her? I'm in a hospital, waiting for news on a boy I only met yesterday, who just overdosed himself with heroin he bought with money he stole from me, when he was in our house earlier. Yup, she's going to take that _really_ well. I gulp as I put the coins into the money slot and cautiously dial the number. This is not going to be pretty.

"IT'S ABOUT BLOODY TIME!" A familiar voice screams down the phone. "You call yourself The Chief of Police? I don't care if he hasn't been missing for 24 hours yet, I want police cars out searching for him! Hatake Kakashi does not just disappear like that!"

"Kurenai…" I whisper, my voice starting to give up on me.

"HATAKE KAKASHI!!! Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick! I called the police and everything!"

"I… I… I'm in the hospital… and…"

"THE HOSPITAL! What happened, are you alright? Are you hurt?" her panicked sounding voice cries in shock, working only to make me feel worse about the whole situation.

"I'm fine! You didn't let me explain…"

"What happened?" She cries again, her voice sounding choked up as she tries to hold back tears. "Where did you go? Why did you disappear like that? Why was your phone off?"

"Kurenai, love, it's alright. I'm so sorry, my phone battery died but let me explain," I gulp, still not sure how I'm going to tell her about this. I can't predict how she'll react. I think it might be best to just give her the basics right now, the rest can be explained to her in detail later when she's calm. "Ok.., when I was out last night I came across a boy in need of some help. I helped him out and gave him a lift home, but it turned out that he stole some money from me. I was angry earlier because I'd just made the discovery. So, I was going to take back the money from him, but when I found him… he… well, he… he'd overdosed on heroin Kurenai and I had to bring him to the hospital. I don't know if he's ok, I think he's going to die…"

Silence.

"Kurenai?"

"Why didn't you tell me Kakashi?" she sobs. "Why did you come home yesterday night and act like nothing had happened?"

"I'm sorry… I… I… I didn't know how to explain it to you and I didn't want you to worry. Besides, I never thought for one second it would end up like this. I thought I was just helping out some kid and I'd never see him again after that."

"What did he need help with? What was so important that you couldn't tell me?" she yells and I cringe. I'm not sure what the best way would be to explain the incident to her, she'd freak out a hundred times more if she knew about the dangerous situation I found him in, I mean we both could've died! And then there's the money end of it too, I'm sure she's not going to be happy that I gave away so much to a stranger. Kurenai is not a heartless person, far from it, but it's the circumstances in which I found this boy that would send her over the edge. I guess you could say that I risked my life for a complete stranger, and I don't think she could handle the thought of loosing me so suddenly like that if something had went wrong, like if one of those guys pulled a knife on me. She just worries a lot and sometimes it can cause her to over react.

"Well… I… he…" Oh God do I need a distraction right now. I'd much rather tell her this in person and once she's calmed down, not right here over the phone whilst she's freaking out, and when there's no way she'd be able to think about it rationally. Distraction… please! I need a distraction!

"Excuse me, Mr Hatake?" a quiet voice sounds from behind me. "The doctors want to speak with you… it's about Sasuke."

**End of Chapter 3**

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Thank you for reading! I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I've been pretty busy lately and I just haven't had the time to add to it. So rather than leaving you waiting, I decided to post it as it is, evil cliff hanger and all! :P

Please review and let me know what you think and if you still like where the story is going. I'm not a doctor, nor do I know much about heroin being as I've never used it (and never will)! I did some research though to try and make this chapter seem at least semi-realistic at best, but I'm sure it's nowhere near as accurate as it could be… but seeing as this is a fan fiction, let's all use our imaginations and pretend it's all correct and the like! ;)

So… will Sasuke be alright? And how will Kurenai react when she finds out the truth about Kakashi's first encounter with him? I'm not quite sure yet myself…

See you next chapter!

Laura xx


	4. Chapter 4

**Numb: Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters.

**Author's notes**: Thank you all so much for the feedback, I can't express enough just how much I appreciate your kind words. I'm happy that everyone appears to be enjoying the story so far! Poor Kakashi, he has no idea what he's got himself caught up in. I admit that I do enjoy giving the characters a hard time, but that just makes writing the stories more interesting for me. I like challenges!

Anyway, I'm back after a computer scare. My laptop battery properly died, so I had to get a replacement one. I was freaking out because I had this chapter nearly finished and my computer wouldn't turn on! Ahhhh! The stress, but it's all ok now. Please enjoy the next chapter! :)

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**(Kakashi's point of view)**

"Kurenai… I'll… look; I'll call you back…"

"Kakashi! Don't you _dare_ hang up that phone! We have a lot of talking…"

I hung up the phone without even realising what I was doing, it was just instinctive the second I heard Sasuke's name mentioned. My chest tightens and that all too familiar sick feeling latches onto my gut once again as the same nurse from earlier approaches me, clipboard still in hand. How long has it been? I can't even remember what time it was when I brought Sasuke to the hospital. Glancing at the clock on the wall I can see it's approaching eight O'clock in the evening. I've no idea how long I've been here.

I gulp as I make eye contact with her, desperately trying to read her expression. She doesn't seem upset or anything, my heart lifts with a sudden jolt of hope.

"We administered a drug to counter the heroin effects and thankfully he responded well and regained consciousness. But he's still very weak and experiencing some withdrawal but overall he's not too bad. You can see him now if you'd like Mr Hatake," she smiles, that wonderful look melting away the fears that had been consistently growing within me. It's like I can breathe again for the first time in hours, a heavy weight lifted from my chest.

"He's going to be ok?" I ask, my eyes brightening.

"Only if he stays off the drugs," she warns. "Another incident like that and it would be the end of him. He's extremely lucky this time, these cases end tragically more often than not, and unfortunately we see a lot of them in this area. Sasuke is not the first and he won't be the last."

My heart sinks again. It slipped my mind that the boy must be, in fact, addicted to the drug. It would explain those unpredictable mood swings of his, but I can only wonder how long he's been addicted. I let out a loud sigh. Getting this boy off the drugs won't be an easy task, but I did promise myself that I'd help him. I can't go back on that. Besides, hopefully this incident will have scared him and put him off wanting to take heroin again. He came so close to death.

"Come with me, he's in a ward just along the corridor to the right."

Just as I'm about to follow the nurse to Sasuke, the payphone starts ringing. Shit! I know in my mind that it's Kurenai; she must have called the operator to get the number of this particular phone. She must be furious that I hung up on her, but I will deal with that later when the time arises.

"Odd, that phone doesn't normally ring…" the nurse looks at it curiously.

"It's nothing, not important," I state. "It's just somebody trying to ring me back, but it can wait until later. Please will you take me to Sasuke?" I ask; the decision made in a split second.

"Yes, just this way."

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My heart beats frantically as I push open the door of the ward, not really sure what to expect. Sasuke has been put into a private ward to recuperate for a few days before they move him into the drug rehabilitation unit. I'm not sure how long they'll keep him here, but I offered to pay for all of his expenses, as I know there's no way he could manage it on his own. I can only pray that they'll be able to cure his addiction and more importantly, will Sasuke even want to stop it? What if he has no will to fight it? The thought frightens me, but I need to try and stay positive for his sake and hope that his encounter with near death will have set him straight.

Stepping inside, the overpowering scent of antiseptic invades my senses, but I quickly shake it off when I see a familiar figure curled up on the bed. My heart flutters excitedly. I'm so thankful that he's still alive; I brought him here in time. The sense of relief is overwhelming, but it feels so good. I haven't failed him.

"Hey Sasuke… "I whisper as I approach and pull up a chair next to the bed. "How're you feeling?"

"Like shit," he groans, every painful, raspy word a huge effort. "Why ask such a stupid fucking question?"

Despite the insult, I can't help but smile. This boy has such a powerful effect on me that I don't think I'll ever begin to understand. It's a sad sight though. He's curled up under the sheets, shaking violently and still the colour of a corpse. My eyes follow a tube inserted up his nose to aid his breathing and keep his airways clear. His eyes are heavy and sunken, every breath still an effort for him. I'd give anything to take him into my arms and hold him until sleep carries him away for the night, but I quickly shake those thoughts from my head. I can't be thinking things like that about him, it's ridiculous!

"Oh fuck…" he groans again and clutches his stomach. "Kakashi… beside the bed… the…"

Roaming my eyes down to the ground, I can see what he's looking for. They left a bucket for him to be sick in… how nice. I quickly pick it up and pass it to him as he snatches it from me in a state of desperation. Rubbing his back gently, I wait patiently until he's finished emptying the contents of his stomach, which isn't a lot. It kind of reminds me of that one time Kurenai had food poisoning and I had to sit up all night just like this, but for Sasuke I don't mind.

It's not long before he curls up under the sheets again, his skin clammy and damp, his small frame still shaking.

"I'm sorry…" he whispers.

"It's ok," I reply with a smile, my hand still gently rubbing his back. To my surprise he doesn't spin around and slap my hand away. He doesn't seem the touchy-feely type, but he's probably too sick to care about what I do at the minute.

"Why didn't you just leave me to die?"

"What?" his comment takes me by surprise. "Like as if I'd do that!"

"Anyone else would have. You barely know me…"

"I'm not like that, I'm not going to leave anybody to die," I sigh, a little disturbed by his comments. Surely nobody would leave him if they found him in that state. It doesn't make sense, but then again there isn't much about this boy that actually helps solve the ever growing riddle surrounding his life.

"But I stole from you."

"Yeah, well, don't do it again!" I smile and give him a gentle, playful nudge.

Suddenly he starts shaking more and clutching his stomach again, immediately causing me to jump up. I frantically look around for a nurse or someone, it scares me when he goes like this!

"Kakashi! The bucket…"

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I'm not sure how long I spent comforting him, but he eventually drifted into an uneasy sleep. A nurse assured me that he'd be under full observation during the night to make sure he doesn't fall into any difficulties, but she seemed pretty confident that he'd be alright, although his withdrawal would get worse.

They are still deciding what would be the best way to treat his addiction, but tomorrow they want to move him to the drug rehabilitation unit to begin his treatment… or so she said. Sasuke didn't look pleased by this at all. He hasn't said to me that he wants to give up the drugs; he never mentioned it once despite what he just went through. What if he isn't willing to try? The thought terrifies me. I don't want them to give up on him, and more importantly, I don't want to see him in that state ever again. He didn't agree to stay in the hospital either, although it was implied by the nurse that he should, Sasuke chose to ignore what she said and gave no response. I tried to encourage him by saying that I'd cover the costs, but he still wouldn't give an answer. That sick feeling returns to my stomach. I truly believe that Sasuke does not want to give up the drugs, and they can't make him stay here if he doesn't want too.

"Excuse me, Mr Hatake?" one of the nurses opens the door of the ward. "There's somebody here who wants to see you… um… I think she said her name is Kurenai and she seems quite mad."

Fuck! I forgot to call her back… again!

"Oh… um… alright…" I gasp, trying to hide my nerves. Kurenai can be really scary sometimes and I think now might be one of those moments. She's going to kick my ass!

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As I round the corner I'm met with a very familiar, yet unimpressed face. Her eyes are red and swollen, her normally perfectly applied eye make-up smudged into a black mess. It's obvious that she's been crying earlier and as she wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, my heart sinks. I had no idea I'd upset her this much. To be honest, I got so caught up in the moment and Sasuke that I completely forgot about her, and that has never happened before. I was expecting an angry reaction, but she just looks sad… sad and disappointed. I feel like the worst person in the world at this moment in time.

"Kurenai?" I ask, my voice shaking slightly. "I… I…"

"Hatake Kakashi!" she growls. "What is going on? I can't believe I had to drive half way across town just to get answers from you. I thought that on our wedding day we promised never to keep secrets from each other."

"Kurenai…" I sigh. "You're right, I'm sorry. I got so caught up in the moment and everything happened so fast… I really wasn't sure what was happening. I was going to tell you, I really was."

"Then tell me. What happened? Who is this boy you mentioned, and why was he in our house? What's so important about him that you couldn't tell me in the first place?"

"I didn't think it would become such a big deal. I thought he would just be a passing figure in my life and I'd never see him again. Things got out of control and the situation began to escalate so fast." I begin to confess, my arms reaching out to her. She seems almost relieved by the action and quickly falls into my embrace, her head resting against my shoulder. Her warmth is comforting and instantly I feel like everything is going to be alright. If I'm going to tell her, now is the time. She's calm enough to think about it rationally now.

"On my way home from that nightclub I was at with Iruka, a boy kind of crossed my path. His name is Sasuke and he'd gotten himself into a lot of trouble. He'd borrowed money which he couldn't pay back and he was about to be beaten up, possibly even killed. I had to help him. I don't know why exactly I did what I did, but I offered to pay his dept for him…"

"What?" Kurenai angrily backs away from my embrace. "You gave away our hard-earned money to some worthless street scum? He must have borrowed that money to buy drugs and you go and hand it back to him on a silver platter? Scum like him should get a damn job and stop leeching off decent folk who work hard for their money!"

"No, I gave him _my_ hard earned money, not yours. How was I to know at the time he was a drug addict? I was simply trying to do a good turn… and you don't know anything about him! How can you say things like that when you don't even know him?"

I'm surprised at myself for jumping to his defence so quickly!

"And I suppose you know everything about him then…" she sneers as she folds her arms tight across her chest. "Go on, tell me everything you know about him other than that he's a heroin addict!"

My mind freezes. As much as I hate to admit it, she's right. I know nothing about him myself… I only took his word that he'd been trying to find jobs previously. I guess I really don't know for sure.

"I'm waiting!" Kurenai presses, her foot now starting to tap the ground in impatience. "Tell me about him."

"I… I… he's… I…"

"So you don't know anything, do you?"

"I…"

"So you gave away money to a jobless drug addict who you know nothing about. You probably risked your life to save him and who knows how many people he's probably robbed for drug money. He robbed you didn't he?" she stares at me, that glare piercing straight through me.

Again she's right. Sasuke obviously steals money for drugs, he's probably a criminal wanted by the police or something. My heart sinks that little bit deeper. What if she's right? No, she can't be.

"Well… he did take money but that might have been a one off, there's no way of telling if it's something he does regularly. I just wanted to help him Kurenai. He looked so vulnerable at the time and I was afraid he'd be killed. Everyone deserves a second chance and I want to continue to help him."

"Fine Kakashi, do what you want. I don't care anymore, but don't get your hopes up. He's probably a lost cause anyway, but whatever. I'm going home now. You know how I feel about the situation. Do what you have to do, but do not ever bring him to our house again Kakashi, do you hear me? He's not welcome there. I don't want a thieving drug addict anywhere near me or my belongings, thank you very much."

With that she left. As I said before, Kurenai is not a heartless person. She worries a lot, and with good reason too. I really don't know a thing about Sasuke, but it makes me determined to dig a little deeper. If Sasuke will let me, I want to learn more about him. Despite the warning signs, there's something about him that compels me to get closer. I want to unravel the mystery that surrounds him. I know he's a good person at heart; I just have that feeling about him. If given the right opportunities that he's missed out on, Sasuke could be happy. I promised myself that I'm not going to give up on him and I stand by that.

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**FLASHBACK – Sasuke's past: (WARNING: Upsetting scenes). **

It was a particularly bitter November night. A dense sheet of fog masked the street outside, as the moonlight struggled to creep though any visible cracks in the thick blanket. Small flakes of ice had formed in the corner of the window as condensation continued to spread across the inside, only to be wiped away by a tiny hand, the child inside wanting a clearer view of the outside world. Dark eyes glanced at the street outside, taking in everything that moved; anything that would become clear amongst the heavy layer of fog. Nothing out of the ordinary tonight, but then again it was the slums. Nothing of great interest happened there anyway. The child had seen it all before. Angry couples yelling at each other in the street, young people shooting up some substance unknown to him, fights breaking out amongst big gangs of people, cars being broken into: it was nothing new. He barely batted an eyelid.

The small hand continued to trace shapes along the condensation, a slight smile spreading across the young boy's face as he took simple delight in creating a messy picture. The shouting from the next room was becoming louder and harder to ignore as the sound of smashing glass made him jump. He recalled earlier that his daddy had come home with a lot more of those bottles that he likes to drink from. The boy didn't know what exactly was in them, but from past experience he knew that it made him angry. It was best to stay away when his parents drank or he would get caught up in their fight. Shaking painful memories from his mind, he breathed on the glass to try and create more condensation to play with. He pouted as the patch he'd breathed on disappeared more quickly than the rest. So much for this game!

Backing away from the window, he curled up under his blanket on the floor. It wasn't much warmer inside than it was outside, his breath was clearly visible and his thin blanket wasn't much use, although it was better than nothing. He closed his eyes and tried hard to fall asleep, but the racket going on in the next room was too much. He tried plugging his ears and hiding his head right the way under the blanket, but nothing helped. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he sat up again. Surely by now he should be used to this, they fight nearly every night! The boy knew, however, that if he could only get rid of those bottles that mummy and daddy would be happy and stop fighting. He hated those bottles so much. Mummy would be kind and caring one minute, then she would drink from them and the problems would begin. His daddy was never caring but when he drank the problem was made worse. The boy had often heard him say that he wished he'd never been born, and often he'd tell him just how much he loathed him directly to his face. The child was used to it now; he didn't get upset now as much as he did in the past. Daddy hated him and that was just how things were and would always be. It was just another thing that was completely out of the ordinary for him.

Unable to take it anymore, he pulled his thin, undernourished body to his feet and made his way to the door of his room. The noise was coming from the room next to his which meant that they would not be in the kitchen. He wanted his mummy and daddy to be happy so badly that he knew what he needed to do. The bottles had to go! Cautiously pushing the door open, he paused when it made a creaking noise, worried that he'd been heard. He held his breath as he froze to the spot, but the noise coming from the other room continued.

Mummy was now yelling at daddy to stop, that it hurt and she didn't want it. The boy didn't know what was going on in there but he'd heard the word 'rape' mentioned a few times in the past, but he assumed that this must be a normal mummy and daddy thing to do. They seemed to do it a lot so it must be a good thing. Walking towards the kitchen, he stopped when he reached the place where daddy kept the evil bottles. The old, wooden cupboard door was heavy and it took all his might to open it, but as he fell over onto his bottom, the door flung open with him. Success! The boy reached inside and pulled out one of the bottles that was kept in there. It was already more or less open; he just had to pull a loosely placed cork from the top. It didn't take much effort at all. He nearly choked on the smell alone as he took a sniff, it was horrible! It smelt like daddy's breath. How could mummy and daddy drink this stuff and not be sick?

The sink was out of his reach, but he was determined. This was to make mummy and daddy happy. It would make them stop fighting. It didn't take long before he pulled a chair up beside the kitchen counter and crawled up, the evil bottle still firmly in his grip. Another small smile spread across his face as he knew in his heart that this was the right thing to do. He took comfort in the thought of his parents being happy and not hurting each other any more, or him for that matter. All he had to do was get rid of this fowl smelling substance. Without hesitating he began to pour the dark red liquid down the sink, coughing again as the stench hit his nostrils even stronger than before, but smiling as he watched it disappear into darkness forever. It had been quiet for a while in the other room, perhaps his parents were sleeping now. He was concentrating so heavily on what he was doing, and his daydreams of a happy family, that he didn't hear the door open. He didn't hear the angry footsteps marching towards him until it was too late.

The next thing he knew was that he was on the floor, looking up at the chair he'd been standing on, his face stinging and the taste of blood on his lips. He hadn't felt the blow this time until he'd hit the ground, but it had happened so fast he could barely remember it.

"YOU WORTHLESS LITTLE FUCK!"

He cried out as a foot made contact with his side, knocking the breath almost clean out of him.

"What do you think you're doing? That stuff is worth more than you are! Why are you so goddamned USELESS?"

The venom in the older man's voice drove terror into the little boy's heart. He knew what was coming as he's experienced it many times before. Daddy was in a rage now and there was nothing he could do until he decided to calm down and leave him alone.

"Just wanted you and mummy to be happy…" he sobbed as he clutched his sore sides.

"The only way for me and mummy to be happy is if you were dead. You were a mistake, an accident. You shouldn't even be here!" he hissed as he moved close to the frightened boy's face, the child's nose wrinkling at the all too familiar smell from the evil bottles. He screwed shut his eyes as he saw the curled fist rise aggressively above him.

Those cruel words remained deeply rooted in his mind as he blacked out. It was something that would remain with him forever.

**End of Chapter 4 **

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Thank you for reading! Ahhh! Please don't hurt me! I'm sorry I was so cruel to poor little Sasuke, but I wanted to use this chapter to try and explain why Sasuke is the way he is. He's troubled for a reason. There will be more flashbacks of Sasuke growing up as the story goes along, but eventually he and Kakashi will become closer and he'll open up to him.

Please review and let me know what you think! Pretty please! It gives me the incentive to update faster when I know people are enjoying my work. As for next the chapter, can Kakashi convince Sasuke to stay in hospital and get the treatment he needs? Somehow I don't think it will be so easy. Kurenai will have to try and come to terms with the situation as well. More flashbacks will probably ensue! Also, I'm not a doctor, so please don't flame me if there are a lot of inaccuracies in this chapter... which there probably are! lol

See you next chapter!

Laura xx


	5. Chapter 5

**Numb: Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters.

**Author's notes**: Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, favourite and alert this story. It really means a lot. Here are two chapters for the price of one, lol.

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**(Kakashi's point of view for the entire chapter)**

Needless to say, it was a long day at work today. It broke my heart to leave Sasuke alone at the hospital last night. He had fallen into an uneasy sleep before I left, and as much as I wanted to stay there with him all night, I knew I couldn't do that. Between work and Kurenai I didn't really have a choice. His breathing was forced and uneasy before I left, and he was curled up tightly into a little ball under the sheets, but at least he was sleeping. He needs rest so badly at the minute. The nurse assured me that he'd be ok, and I know they will keep a close watch over him, but it still didn't make walking out those doors any easier. I am more drawn to this boy than I ever have been with anyone else… even Kurenai. I wish I knew what it is about him. How does he manage to make my mind wander like this? He was all I could think about in work today; even Iruka noticed that my thoughts were further away than usual. When he asked me about it, I lied and told him I was thinking about Kurenai. I don't think he believed me though, but he didn't push the matter any further. I haven't told him about Sasuke, no one else other than Kurenai knows about him. I don't know how to tell everyone and I'm a bit fearful over how they'll react. What if everyone takes it as badly as Kurenai did?

Letting out a loud sigh, I step out of my car and slam shut the door. I really couldn't be bothered with the inevitable conversation I know I'm going to have to endure. I've been dreading it all day. Pushing open the door of my house, I brace myself and get ready for it. I barely get one foot inside before it happens.

"I don't want you seeing him Kakashi," Kurenai folds her arms and glares at me as I enter the living room before closing the door behind me.

"He needs help!" I mumble, annoyed that she would even say such a thing, even though I can't say I wasn't expecting it. "And who else is going to give it to him? It's attitudes like that which is probably why he's so messed up in the first place."

"He's a thief and drug addict, and for all we know probably part of a dangerous street gang or something. You need to really think this over Kakashi, it could all backfire on you, and personally I don't want to be held up at knifepoint by whatever gang he belongs too!"

"Would you stop jumping to conclusions! You're making him seem like the worst person in the world. He's not a bad person, I'm certain he's not. He's just made some mistakes and surely everyone deserves a second chance to turn their life around. Just give him a chance."

"You're going to the hospital to see him now, aren't you?"

"Yes I am," I sigh, rubbing my temples, still reeling from Kurenai's unfoundedly negative attitude towards Sasuke. I understand what she's saying, but I just wish that she could see how badly he needs help. If a heroin overdose isn't an obvious cry for help, then I don't know what else is.

"Fine."

"I'll see you later then," I reply coldly, turning to make my way towards the door again to leave. I need to get out; I don't want to hear this any more. To be honest, I really don't know why Kurenai is acting like this, she's normally so calm and understanding, but the only reason I can think of is that perhaps she feels threatened by Sasuke. Maybe she doesn't like the attention I'm giving him as she's so used to having me all to herself. I'm sure over time she will lean to accept him, but I think her bad reaction is probably just from the shock of this all happening so fast. I don't think it has really sunk in for her yet.

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**(At the hospital)**

My heart beats with excitement at the thought of seeing Sasuke today. Of course I'm terrified of what his condition could be, and I'm sure he'll be less than thrilled to see me, but I can't stop the smile from spreading across my face. He's a much welcomed distraction in my life right now, even if he is the one unintentionally and unknowingly causing the trouble I need the distraction from. Before stepping out of the car, I make sure that I bring the bag of gifts I got for him. He's probably going to be bored out of his mind in the hospital, so I stopped at a nearby shop to buy him some magazines and chocolates. I even brought my MP3 player for him to borrow. I was tempted by a portable DVD player too, but I don't want to overwhelm him, but I can bring that another day. I'm sure I'll not get any thanks, but I know Sasuke will be secretly flattered that I've been thinking about him, there's just no way in hell he'd admit that.

Walking straight past reception, I make my way towards Sasuke's room. The staff said I can visit him any time I want after 6pm and I don't need to stop and ask for permission. I would have been excited, and there would have been a huge grin on my face if only his bed wasn't empty. My heart starts to race. Surely they've just taken him outside for some fresh air or something… yeah, that has to be it. I look around for a nurse and finally one comes into the room, but the look on her face doesn't look too promising. My heart sinks.

"Where is Sasuke? I'll take it he's just outside getting some fresh air? Right?"

"Um… he's not here, he left this morning," she informs me.

It's not long before that all too familiar feeling of dread punches me square in the face again.

"What!" I cry. "Where did he go? Did you just let him leave? Why didn't anybody try to stop him?"

"We can't force him to stay Mr Hatake, and he was adamant to leave. He made it very clear that he didn't want treatment, so there is nothing we could do. He is an adult and as an adult we have no legal authority to force him to stay here…"

"Can't you get legal authority?" I gasp, my world starting to collapse before my very eyes. "He'll die… what if he does it again?"

"While I agree fully that Sasuke needs help, treatment isn't going to help unless he's willing to really try and get better. If a person isn't willing to try, then more often than not the treatment fails. You could take a legal order out against him to force him to stay, but those things take a long time to get passed, and we can't hold him forever. He'll just go back on the drugs again the second he is legally allowed to leave. I've seen it happen many times before."

"What if I find him? What if I can convince him to come back here, can he still get the treatment?"

"Of course he can, but good luck convincing him. Nobody else here could do it, I've never met a more stubborn kid in my life!"

I let out a frustrated sigh. Stubborn, yes! Smart, no, not really. If Sasuke knew damn well what was good for him, he'd stay here, but once again that stupid boy's attitude has drowned out his common sense, so it looks like I'm going to be left to pick up the pieces all over again. I'm so angry at him just now. What more do I have to do for him? If free treatment and somebody who genuinely cares about him can't win him over, what else will? I'm determined to find him, and when I do I will drag him back here kicking and screaming. Why is he fucking doing this to me?

Throwing my bags to the floor, I storm out of the hospital. He's never going to get things this good again, but why does he keep resisting? How much more do I have to give him? After all, he is the one who asked _me_ for help. Sure he was zoned out at the time, and struggling to stay conscious after the overdose, but he still asked me. What happened to the boy who didn't want to live like this anymore?

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It didn't take long to reach where he lives. I have no idea where he's hiding, but his house might be a good starting point for a search. Painful memories of his overdose flash into my head as I make my way towards the dilapidated building in front of me. How he managed to live here, I have no idea. The foul stench of ammonia invades my nostrils as I push the door of the apartment block open and step inside. This place really is disgusting. It makes me want to find him and bring him back to the safety of the hospital even more. I can't let him return to this, he deserves so much better, if only he'll allow it.

Making my way up the stairs, I'm relieved that there are no drunks in my way again. I'm in no mood to deal with them just now. I quickly pull my hand away from the banister, for a brief moment I forgot how filthy it is, but I quickly regained my senses. I can feel my skin crawling from the contact; I just want out of here so badly. I can only pray that Sasuke will come with me quietly, but I have a sure feeling that he will kick, scream and probably bite as I try to drag him downstairs. I'm sure his neighbours, if you can call them that, aren't going to give a damn about that, but I really don't want to draw any attention to myself if at all possible.

Finally I make it to what I remember as being his front door. There's no lock, but I push it open carefully to avoid startling him. I'm terrified of what I might find in here, images of him lying dead with a needle in his hand are all I can think about, but I try to force them from my mind.

"Sasuke?" I call. "Are you there? It's me, Kakashi."

No answer.

The little shit is probably hiding somewhere and hoping I'll go away. Thankfully there is still some daylight outside, so I can see my way around without too much difficulty. The house really does seem to be vacant though, the silence is worrying.

After a good fifteen minutes of thorough searching, my instincts are correct. Sasuke is not here. Letting out a sigh of disappointment, I drop down on the remains of an old sofa. This place is tiny, so there really isn't anywhere he could hide. There's a small, filthy kitchen, a tiny living room, a bedroom without a bed and what's left of what was probably once a bathroom. That's it. He's definitely not here; he really can't hide from me.

I take a deep breath to keep myself calm and try to think of various places Sasuke might have gone too. That would be fine, only… I really don't know the boy that well. I don't know where he hangs out, I don't know his favourite places; I know nothing about him! The frustration starts to get to me as I feel a headache coming on. I'm terrified that he's gone in search of drugs, although I'm sure the hospital would've given him something to keep the cravings at bay, at least for a little while… I think. Rubbing my temples, I concentrate and think as hard as I can. What do I know about Sasuke? Well, he's a private person; he seems to prefer being on his own and he would probably look for somewhere secretive, far away from anyone who would bother him. There's really only one place nearby that would tick all of those boxes. A smile spreads across my face. I've got it! The tow path by the river that flows around the outskirts of town! It's quiet, very private and not many people would venture there by themselves at night, or evening in this case. Perhaps Sasuke wants to clear this mind and think things over. He'd definitely get the privacy to do that there. I know that from first hand experience.

Quickly, I make my way out of the apartment and run towards my car. If my hunch is right, Sasuke will probably have made his way further down the path to find one of the benches that overlook the river. He'd most likely go there either to think things over… or… well, I don't want to think about the other option. I just pray my hunch is right, because other than the tow path, I have no clue where else he could be. The city is huge and it would take days to find him, if I ever manage that at all. I could be too late if I do eventually find him another day. Closing my eyes tightly before I start up the car, I beg that Sasuke will be there. I'm not a religious man, but please God, please let me find him.

…………………………………………………………………………..

A good half an hour later, I arrive at the destination. It would be a long walk for Sasuke if this is where he is hiding, but he's a pretty determined individual when he wants to be. He'd stubbornly force himself to take every step despite his pain and weakness.

Stepping out of the car, I feel a sharp nip in the air. It's starting to get very cold at night but the air here is much fresher than it is deep within the city. I inhale it deeply, taking in the sweet scent of the grass and trees. They are a rare sight within the city, it's only when you reach the outskirts that you start to see any real plant life other than the occasional half dead tree planted into a concrete street.

I tuck my hands into my pockets as I start to make my way along the dimly lit pathway. It's so quiet here; I can almost hear my heart beating. The only things that make a noise are the wind rustling the tree tops, the slashing of the water and the occasion hum of an engine as a car drives along the nearby road. It is easy to allow yourself to become lost in thought around here, even though it's not really the safest place to be this time of evening, but it's just so peaceful. The lights that line the pathway have only just come on, and other than that there isn't a lot of lighting. It's a beautiful place when you can see it in natural daylight, but right now I have to make do with the dim light of the sunset and the old lamps that scatter the outline of the pathway every few yards or so.

Immediately, my thoughts are drawn back to Sasuke. What if he isn't here? Continuing to take deep breaths, I try to keep positive in order to keep the nerves at a controllable level. It would take roughly forty minutes or so to walk the path, including crossing the bridge over the shallow river and walking back again to the car park to complete the journey. It's not a particularly long distance, in fact; it's popular with people during the day when they take their dogs out for a walk to try and escape the hustle and bustle of city. There's a park nearby too where mothers often take their children to play during the summer months. Sometimes I go for walks along here myself when I want to be alone, and it wouldn't be the first time I've made my way along this path. I know it quite well. I'm not sure how long I've been walking for, but the whole time I keep my eyes alert to spot Sasuke's lithe frame in the distance. I don't know why exactly, but I'm just so certain he will be here. It seems like somewhere he would want to go when he wants to escape, and trying to escape his problems, but failing miserably, is something he excels at.

Following the path around a meander in the river, I get a clear few of a few benches in the distance. Suddenly my heart skips a beat, as I catch sight of a familiar small figure sitting alone on one of them. My hunch was right, I knew he'd run to some place secluded like this, just like I do when things get too much. Perhaps we are more alike than I ever could've imagined. As I get closer, I'm certain it's him. He sits facing the river bank on one of the old wooden benches that line the footpath. The moonlight outlines his features as he stares unmoving into the distance, his eyes focused on nothing, just the dark empty space in front of him. He's so deep in thought that I wonder if he's noticed whether I'm approaching him or not. Part of me wants to call out to him, but what if he runs? What if he doesn't want me here with him?

Slowly I continue my way towards him; the relaxing gush of the water drowns out my hushed foot steps. God he's beautiful. I know I've said it many times before, but he really is stunning. However, I quickly shake those thoughts from my head, they are not appropriate. I'm a married man. Still, I wonder what to say to him, not that he'll listen to anything, but I so desperately want him to return to the hospital and get the treatment that he'll certainly die without. I don't want him to die. I couldn't handle loosing him. There! I said it. I could not handle loosing him. It's the truth. I want this boy; I want him so fucking bad. I need to stop trying to fool myself into thinking otherwise.

"Go away Kakashi." He speaks, without even turning around to look at me as I get within a few meters of him.

My eyes open wide as I almost freeze to the spot, so he is aware that I'm here. Taking a deep breath, I move closer to the bench as I take a seat beside him, but I feel him tense up immediately.

"I'm not going back there."

"You can't keep running away from your problems Sasuke."

"Like hell I can! Just fucking watch me!"

With that he rises to his feet threateningly, but he doesn't run. Instead he lets out a deep breath and hangs his head low, avoiding my gaze as best he can.

"Why am I so goddamned worthless?" he whispers so low that I'm not sure if he wanted me to hear it, but then again maybe he did.

He remains still, his head still hung low, as I slide my hand into his. Immediately I'm taken aback by just how cold he is. There is no warmth left in him. Gently I pull him back down to the bench and take off my coat. To my surprise he allows me to wrap it around him and pull him close. This doesn't feel right, I'm half expecting him to snap away and yell at me any minute now, but strangely enough he seems to be enjoying the comfort. I suppose this isn't something he gets to experience very often.

"Sasuke, you're not worthless. I don't know how you got that into your head, but it is so far from the truth. You need to get off the drugs, and running away isn't going to get you anywhere."

"hnn…" he grunts, but still allows my arm to remain in place around his shoulder. "You don't know a damn thing about me. You have no idea what it's like to be desperate for anything; you're just some spoilt rich kid. While you were in your mansion watching your wide screen TV, I was looking in a rubbish bin somewhere trying to find my next damn meal."

"What's that got to do with anything?" I state bluntly. "I can't change my upbringing any more than you can change yours."

"I don't want _your _advice."

"Quit being so fucking stubborn Sasuke!" I hiss, my patience wearing thin. "No you're not worthless, but you need to stop acting like a child and take responsibility for your actions. As much as I wish I could, I can't wave some magic wand and make everything right for you. I can help, and believe me I'll do whatever it takes, but I can't do it all for you. You have to do it, so stop moping in self pity and let me help you. You could really make something of yourself Sasuke, but not until you change that damn attitude of yours."

"I'm leaving."

He turns around and glares at me, before pushing himself up from the seat and out of my embrace, the jacket I lent him falling unceremoniously from his shoulders.

"There is no way in goddamn fucking hell you're going anywhere!" I hiss, grabbing his arm and pulling him roughly back down to the seat. "You're going to hear it straight; I'm going to tell you everything you don't want to hear because you need to hear it. Sasuke, you nearly fucking _died_. Do you have any idea just how close you came to death? Another minute and you'd have been history! You would've died right there in my arms and you would never have gotten a second chance to change. Don't waste that second chance! There are people who never got that chance and are rotting away in the ground right now as we speak. I'm offering you a second chance, I'm willing to pay for your treatment and I'm here to help you through every step of the way because I know you can do it. Don't turn your back on this, Sasuke, on me. Quit being so damn selfish!"

He looks back at me briefly before looking away again and fixing his gaze on the ground. I can feel him shaking. A loud, unexpected sob escapes from his mouth, and immediately he tries to turn and flee from my grip. He almost got away, almost.

"Are you ok?" I ask, already knowing the answer to that question.

"I'm not crying! I'm not fucking crying!" he yells, continuing to try and struggle free from my grasp.

"Sasuke, it's ok," I attempt to comfort him, but it doesn't seem to be working. "Let the walls down, you need to let it out."

"You don't know what I need!" he sobs again, but gradually the fight leaves him and he begins to relax into my arms, and before I know it he has his own arms wrapped around me as he sobs into my chest. I don't hesitate to return the hug.

"Kakashi…" he sobs again, "I'm so messed up. I don't want this, I never did, but I don't feel like I have a choice, drugs are the only thing that can mask the pain. For a brief moment I forget who I really am. It makes me forget about everything… about _him_. I need the drugs to forget about him!"

"Who is 'him'?" I pry deeper, desperate to know who caused Sasuke to hurt this badly. I could kill that person despite not even knowing who they are yet.

"My dad…" he mumbles quietly against the fabric of my shirt. "He did horrible things! He'd hit me, kick me, make me stand in front of a mirror and force me to tell myself how worthless I am, how disgusting I am, how I should never have been born, how I'll never amount to anything! And you know what? He's right, he's fucking right? I didn't want to let him win, but he always does! It's like he's invincible or something!" He sobs louder.

I can't believe what I'm hearing. How do you respond to something like that? Before I can even open my mouth, he continues to allow more to spill out. All I can do is hold him tight and let him release the emotion he's locked up for goodness knows how long.

"Mum died from an overdose and I ran away the next day, I couldn't stay there any more. I got away from him and the abuse, but I came across drugs. I didn't want too because they killed my mum, but they make me forget. I just want to forget! Please make me forget! Make it go away!"

He's almost frantic now, but again all I can do is hold him tighter and let him cry his heart out for as long as he needs too. He needs this release though; it can only be good for him. Maybe now he'll be able to face up to his problems with a clear mind and defeat them.

"I can't make those memories go away forever Sasuke, but neither can the drugs." I sigh, trying to hold back my own tears. How dare somebody make this boy feel that way? If only they could see the mess they've created, but then again, that was probably their intention. Well, they've succeeded in tearing this boy up beyond recognition, I can only hope there are enough pieces left to salvage.

"But let me help…" I whisper into his ear and place a soft kiss against his forehead, my lips tingling from the contact afterwards, instantly craving more. "Everything your dad said to you is not true. Don't let him win. Prove that you're stronger than him; don't allow his cruel words to hold any truth. You're better than him Sasuke."

"But I am disgusting!" he cries, his head still pressed against me. "You don't want to know what horrible stuff I've done to get drugs! I've stolen from people, I've broken into houses, I even gave my virginity in exchange for heroin, I… I…"

"Crap, Sasuke!" I cry as I hold him as close and as tightly as I can. His body continues to shiver from the cold. "That's all in the past, pet, wouldn't you rather have a better future?"

He doesn't reply but I can feel his head nodding lightly against my chest.

"Well, that's one thing I can promise you. You're not going to end up on the streets again; I'll make sure of that. Nobody is going to hurt you anymore, but please Sasuke, please agree to come back to the hospital and stay there until you're better. Will you please accept the treatment and try?"

"Yes…" he whispers so quietly that I only just heard him. "But you're not going to go away and abandon me are you… just like everyone else?"

"No, I promise, we're in this together now," I smile as he finally raises his head up to look at me, his eyes swollen and red from tears. Thankfully he's calming down. As I look into his dark eyes again, for the first time I something else there other than sorrow. Hope. It's a truly beautiful sight.

Before I realise I'm even doing it, my lips slowly start to reach towards his, almost of their own accord. He doesn't pull away; instead his eyes begin to close as my lips carefully meet with his, his body relaxing further into my embrace. My heart flutters as he begins to kiss back, his back arching to try and bring himself closer. His lips are soft and inviting as he allows me to place light, gentle kisses upon them. My hands start to wander along his sides, enjoying every touch and sensation, and for a brief few seconds I allow myself to melt away and forget about everything.

But suddenly my eyes shoot back open and I immediately break the kiss. Fuck! Kurenai! I can just about feel the panic set in, but then I'm met with his eyes once again. His expression is lost and confused as it suddenly hits him as to why I broke the kiss, and instantly the hope vanishes from his eyes, only to be replaced by sadness and guilt. God! I know he's forbidden; I know I'm married but I do know what I'm doing. Fuck it! I've gone too far to turn back now. I want this boy too badly.

Closing my eyes, I press my lips against his once again.

**End of Chapter 5**

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Thank you so much to everyone who has read my stories, commented on them and hopefully enjoyed them. I feel really awful about this, but I will not be able to continue with this story, in fact, I am giving up writing altogether. It's got to the point now where I no longer enjoy it, but the same thing can be said for most of the other stuff I really used to enjoy too. I guess I'm just stuck in a rut I can't get out off, and it will probably be a long time before I can get myself sorted out, but I hope one day I'll get back on track. My updates have become so slow because I really have to force myself to get it done, it's not fun anymore.

I really can't apologise enough. I won't delete this story for a while yet though in case I find sudden inspiration to get on with it, but for now I think it is fair to say that I am on semi-permanent hiatus as of today. Although there doesn't really seem to be that much interest in this particular story, which makes this a little easier to do. Once again thank you all so much for everything, and if there is anybody out there who feels they want to continue this story in my place, just PM me and we can work something out.

Goodbye guys!

Best wishes for the future,

Laura xx


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